Suddenly thought of an incident that happened a few years back...

When I was in poly, I used to go lunch with this guy friend I had. He was my first 3mth JC classmate, by coincidence we got into the same poly, same course but different class. How we started to do lunch was when I bumped into him at our canteen during our break. Well he seemed rather lonely so I invited him for lunch with my other friends. This went on for a few weeks, we would do lunch together either with my friends or juz the two of us. One fine day as usual we agreed to do lunch together, he brought along a friend(ger). I'm more than happy to have another lunch khaki.

Guess what? We never do lunch ever since that day. I didn't bother to find out why, I juz presumed he preferred to lunch with that new friend. No sour grapes I swear.
I juz felt used. A few weeks later, he called to have lunch, I said no, I'm not free. Thinking back, I recalled a couple of occasions whereby he did the same thing to me and my other friends when we were in JC, always deserting us when he got other appointments. Ha! I should have noticed that trait in him long time ago. Well, whatever... This kinda friend, no worth keeping.

Things are different now, very different. I have finally trashed out all unwanted memories. Yes, I did it!

So sad :(

So sad, his bike juz got pushed down by an idiotic, freaking, a**hole. Now have to spent money to repair xiaobai... We are supposed to meet up at orchard in the evening, don't think we are going to meet liao. So sad... Wonder how is he gonna survive this month, spending unneccessary money.
That a**hole who did such evil thing is too much, freaking piece of shit! What goes round, comes around, you will get what you deserve, you stupid piece of ugly shit, freak, a**hole!

Hmmm...

I was surfing the net when I chanced upon this particular inline skating website. Guess what I found? I saw pictures of my ex-bf. You see, he is in this inline skating team and this website is set up all for them.
As I was looking at the pictures, it dawned upon me that there are so much things that I don't know about him. I didn't know he participated in this event, that competition, that game and etc...
Hahhaha don't think I qualify to be his girlfriend.

We spent a year together trying to decipher each other then I decided to call it quits when I realised we were heading no where. Thinking back, I realised I didn't try hard enough to understand him, didn't try to put myself in his shoes, didn't try to merge into his life. Guess the feeling was mutual. I never once attended any of his games or competitions, I didn't try to talk to his friends neither did I hang out with them, I never joined them for any gatherings. It's always me and him or him and his friends, never me, him and his friends. Dun get me wrong, his friends are all ok. Guess I don't click with them, most importantly I just can't blend into their circle. Was it because of language? I'm more comfortable in mandarin bah and they are all like blabbering in English. Age? 3 yrs different, no much of a problem. Social life? Maybe leh, coz I dunno what to say to them. Despite all these barriers, he never did try to force me to hang out with his friends.

Our experiment in trying to fuse our lives together for that one year proved to be futile. No amount of chemicals used can provide any sparks. Equation: ME + HIM = zero reaction. To other people, this may seems like a excellent combination, their explanation is "Good mah, we don't change our own character and stuff to suit each other. We don't have to expect our partners to change a single thing."
To me, this ain't a good thing. My point is if we are still living as separate entities, we might as well dun get into a relationship and let our status as acquaintance.

He's still a nice guy(Hey I really mean it ok) afterall maybe just that we are not suitable for each other. I realised that only a year later.
I really appreciate every single thing he did for me, I appreciate all the time spent with me, I really do.

Jellyfish

Picture1
Originally uploaded by gingercat.

Saw 1 male jellyfish this morning. No back bone. Sometimes I wonder if I would choose a male jellyfish as my boyfriend, I mean if there's this guy that I fancy but he turns out to be a jellyfish, would I still like him?

Start of the week...

It's Monday again, lucky Monday. I woke this morning craving for bee hoon and guess what? My dad bought a packet for me, without me telling him that I wanted bee hoon for breakfast. Ha, what a nice way to start my day. :)

Next was on my way to work, the train arrived the very minute I stepped into the station, thus I was on time for work. Great.

You know what? Maybe I should start a section in my blog on my experiences on the NEL train. For me, I get to learn something new everyday while on the NEL. It's really interesting to observe(discreetly) and study their behaviour. Sometimes the things they do really amazes me. Most of the time, I get to reflect on my own behaviour and think of ways to improve myself. So that's what I always say: Everyday is a learning day!

Case Study 2
Can someone pls tell me why do people like to lean against the grab poles in the train cabins? I wonder are they all spinless jellyfish? Do they know that they are depriving other commuters the chance of grabbing onto the poles?

Thought of the day...

Everyday I will take the NEL to and fro from work and everyday I will get to see something new. Things that will make me think about me and my behaviour. I would think to myself and wonder do I behave in the same way as them? Am I that atrocious? Am I that selfish? Am I an ugly Singaporean? I'm not sure. For those who read my blog, pls comment on my behaviour, it would help in identifying my flaws.

Most of the time, I would compare myself with the rest and there will be this ego thingy that makes me feel that I'm not an ugly, selfish, thoughtless Singaporean, in fact I'm better off than them. Am I really that good? I doubt so...

I still remember one incident which happened on my way home(taking the NEL). There were these 2 young kids and their mum on the train. They were very noisy and irritating coz they were running around creating havoc. Their mum juz screamed at them to stop and everyone juz stared at them. They continued. Then one of them ran over to my side and stomped on my shoes. No harm was done to my shoes but I felt kinda angry. They finally got off the train at the same station as me. As we exited the station, I heard their mum's screams again.

I told my mum this incident during dinner that nite and she had a good laugh after that. I thought to myself, would I behave in that way as that auntie when I'm married with kids? Would i allow my kids to do what that 2 boys were doing? You know what's my answer? Of course not lar, I'm better off than her mah, I would not create a scene and attract all those unwanted attention.

Really? I doubt so again. I'm not that perfect as what I thought I am. I can't see my flaws. Maybe this is embedded in everyone, being egoistic. Feeling superior than others. I'm not sure if you readers agree with me but for one thing I'm sure of is, yes I'm a ugly Singaporean when I behave/act or feel more superior than the others.

I need something salty

I need something salty.... I can't work, I can't concentrate on my work. I need some salty food NOW!

It's MONDAY...

Monday Blues....
But actually coming to work this morning ain't that bad. I'm still as chirpy as any other day.

Had fun last weekend. On sat, I went out with my khakis for dinner and later proceed for some dancing session at one of the clubs... And on sun, I went for some in-line skating and dinner at ECP with my colleagues. Hmmm I must say my skating skills have improved alot, maybe because of my new skates or have I really improved? Was feeling very tired when I got home but hey I had lotsa fun. What a pity that SL and PJ wasn't able to join us because PJ was too tired to step out of his house.

I will be popping over to Liang Court to get some stuff for secret project... Not exactly a secret lar since a couple of my friends know abt my plans to prepare a scrap book for my boyfriend. It will be a collection of pictures, ticket subs, receipts and other stuff that we purchase or did together. Corny? Ha! I dun think so...

A brand new year...

2005, A brand new year... ya I know, it's kinda late but hey I was away for a course for the past two days ok!Hmm receive a couple of comments from my colleagues that all I ever wrote was lunch and more lunch. Well that's true, I mean what else do u want me to write since that was the highlite for that day... I'm boring person ok.